Life is a song, Love the lyrics

” get these people on their feet “

Yesterday was my birfday. It was fun. Jennica sang to me before she went to school. I had lunch with my aunt and my madre. I got some shoes. And then I went out to the movies with Baub and Andrew. We saw the avengers. So when I watch movies, a lot of whether I like the movie or not is if they have beautiful men in them or not. Just a way of life. Especially when watching the movie with people such as Baub and Amanda. 

So last night we went to the movie. Then we had to go to walmart to get hand sanitation stuff. Another true fact of life is that whenever Jess and I go to the movies, we are always summoned upon to get something from wally world. Usually its stuff like milk, diapers, or way random things like wind shield wipers and a car battery.

So this is for you Jessica and all of our random trips to Moosie. Thanks for all the memories of stupidly great things like walmart trips, not being able to find cool whip, creepy guys following us, redneck 40 year old running a red light, not being able to find those one Christmas lights, bright red lipstick, the countless stories of stupid guys, creepy guys, pretty guys, and Jasper Hills Rapist guys, all the times we’ve been hit on, being Samantha, ganster playlist cds, forgetting boxes, and of course all the ocean waters and the sonic guys. You really have been a huge part of my life and I love it. So here is to us and our freakin awesome relationship. :*** Love you!

Beautiful girl, with hair as dark as the wood of an black walnut tree, 
With eyes glowing, like the sun’s rays dancing on the open ocean, rings of fire swirling among the open waves that hold my mind captive. 
Your smile, your laugh, your touch, pull me farther beneath the waves, 
As I fall deeper in the love that envelops me

A blanket on a cold winter’s night, the gentle touch of a fire’s glow, cannot compare to the warmth your love gives me.
The smile that touches your face lights the room with incessant brilliance
As the very air surrounding you is taken up in song- a simple song of love, joy, and happiness.
That song that makes my heart take flight

The love carries me farther than ever before, like a river, sparking in the beauty of life itself,
Sunlight reflecting off the waters, moonlight, and starlight,
Creating the fire that burns brighter as our love gets stronger,
The same light I see in your eyes

The river carries me, winding deeper and the current growing stronger into beautiful sceneries- those blissful moments when we are together.
How long can I swim before I am forever lost by this current?
How long before I am swept away by your beauty, out of this world?

A dive into your heart, your soul, your light, brings another side out of the darkness
Inside there is an energy that sparks like lightning across the sky, 
Lighting the river and ocean with a sense of danger and adventure, creating fires strong enough to brighten the fears of the night,
Creating sparks with every kiss, creating a fire with every touch
Bringing a new life to the love that the river carries me down

Time stands still when I am with you it seems, lifetimes spent in hours and days
Like an endless plain of dried grass blowing in the wind, dancing in the sunlight
But always the time to part comes so soon, in which dark eternities pass before your smile lightens my world.
Even as I live those lifetimes with you, time speeds up without us knowing it, as we get lost in each other arms, dancing without music or words across the fabric of those blissful moments.

Oh woman of grace, how can I escape thy spell? 
How do I escape thy love, thy beauty that is ever present in my mind?
Only downriver, do I see there is no escape from this love, this love that binds us, making us yearn to be together almost every waking moment, because neither of us really wish for an escape, only to hold each other tight
How long can I swim in this raging current? How long before I drown in this love, never to resurface?

Can I be swept away faster, sooner, to that beauty, that sunlight, that starlight, the bliss of oceans deep?

The kiss, the touch, the smile.
The beauty in your eyes,
That look, of love,
Tells me I’m already gone.

To be lost in the arms of love,
Is the most wonderful place to be found

Cowboy, Take Me Away~

He wrote me a poem. Not just a little one either. He spent most of the day on it and its glorious. He just wanted to say how much he loved me and to make me happy. It worked. I’ll post another post with the poem in it. 

So here is to how happy you make me. Here is to the checked off adventures on our bucket list and to the ones we still need to check off, to practicing winking in front of the mirror and the late nights, to star gazing, and to sleeping in your car just to watch the sunset at Bear Lake. Here is to the dances we went to and the lifts that you never quite got, all the ice cream, chocolate, and cheesecake, and putting up with Amanda making you eat all of our food so we didn’t have to pack it. Here is to the birthday surprise that made probably made my whole month. But mostly here is to you Mr. Cloud. Truth is I love you. A lot.

“…It’s all about US…”

“Take my hand, I’ll teach you to dance, I’ll spin you around, won’t let you fall down…”

I spent the night last night with my glorious Baub. I love how you are going to marry every gorgeous babe that you comes across. I approve of Thor. He is a hottie. Oh and the other boy that is coming to USU next year, I approve of him too. The two of you would indeed have beautiful children. We ate totino’s pizza just like we did in Utah. It was grand. I’ve missed you Baub and its been wonderful seeing you! Thanks for letting me steal your internet so I could skype with my Amanda and Ron.

It’s amazing that such technology is possible. I don’t know how people that are even my parents age did it with just a long distance phone call a week and letters. I hate waiting for letters! Hate! I really am glad that I live in the time that I do. My life isn’t the greatest but its pretty dang good. I am so lucky to have the wonderful friends that I do and to have a wonderful man like Ron who loves me. He is the sweetest guy that I have ever had, and I plan on keeping him. Everyone is saying that they like him. And we’re talking about marriage… Its kinda crazy. I guess I will blog more about that later.

“…Would you let me lead, You can step on my feet, Give it a try, It’ll be alright…”

The Stars Lean Down to Kiss You.

“And I lie awake and miss you.”

I have been home for three days now. I finally wrote Josh back and I have finally unpacked my clothes but have no where to put them. I have boxes still in my car that need to go over to my grandma’s to store. There is no room for me in this messy house. We have so much crap. I will have a bed today hopefully. But I have no closet room to hang clothes, or a dresser to store them. This just might be one long summer…

I did get to see my Jessica and she looks amazing. I have missed her face sooooo much! We got ocean waters and went looking for frogs. Well almost went looking for frogs. And it was great. I love how we can just pick up right where we left off like no time has passed. This is one of the many reasons why you are my best friend. I adore you!

I am really missing Utah and Ron and Amanda. Amanda, I know you say your not going to change but next year will be completely different. You will be married. I probably wont see you much the whole first semester. You’ll be too busy having fun with Marshall. Which I completely understand. But still I will miss you.

Ron, you are adorable. I miss you so much. I love all the simple little things that you do that keep me smiling. I really cant wait til you come here and I can see your face. The text you send me last night was one of the most romantic things that I have ever been told. Yup, i’m falling for you, fast and hard. Everyone can tell. But I am not complaining any. So until the middle of June, here are to the late night phone calls and early morning text messages. 

“Cuz the spaces between my fingers are right where yours fit perfectly.”

Oh and it is raining. Its glorious! 

“…Don’t go chasing waterfalls”

What am I to do? My heart is tearing. I’ve been ignoring the stabbing feeling but not the pain is too great to push it aside. I wanna just run away. But the pain will just follow. My pandora is just playing stupid broken love songs. I just don’t know what to do.

My mom says its all my choice. My dad says sorta the same thing but he doesn’t approve of Ron. Ron didn’t serve a mission so that means that he isn’t good enough or something. So according to daddy, it is up to me but I better choose the missionary. Typical judgement. Kristen says that she doesn’t like Ron one bit. She hates that I am dating him. She lets me know everyday. She’ll text it or she’ll call and tell me how I better wait for Josh or else she’ll kick my butt. Amanda thinks that I should try and go with Ron. She tells me how happy I look when I am with him. I haven’t looked that happy in a very long time. I don’t deserve the heartache of being alone waiting. Rachel and Becca downstairs say Ron and I look adorable together. They think things will be great towards us. Baub and T think Ron is adorable. Baub likes him and she has not even heard much about him which is kinda a big deal. I know that’s not her approval but for now its still great. Both her and T support either decision that I may make. Josh’s family says that no matter what they will still love and support me. Ron wants me to write Josh off. Josh has no idea any of this is happening. As for me, I don’t know what I want.

I know I will figure it out. Whatever happens will be what is meant to be. Wounds will turn into scars and scars will fade with time. I am not supposed to know what will happen. And as for now, I’ve got a 2 liter of dr. pepper in the fridge and a gallon of ice cream in the freezer. 

The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is Just to Love

A night of coloring and registering for classes next year. This is what I stayed up til 2AM doing. Then I was up early for class. I need to do a presentation for friday. I haven’t really even started. And I wasn’t able to register last night so guess what I am doing tonight… FML!

I’ve got so much homework to do and I just don’t want to do it. It would be wise just to start now and get it done and not pull all nighters but thats when I do my best work. And I won’t get distracted that way…

So last night as we colored our hot wheels and our dinosaurs, we talked about such things like marriage. I honestly thought that I was ready for marriage but the idea now scares me so bad. I guess it is because it seems so real. If I do end up with Ron, I will be married within a year or if I do wait for Josh it will be under 2. Now there is a problem. I really really like both young men. No matter what I do I will be hurting one. Its just how life goes sometimes. I broke Ryan’s heart but he got over it. I just don’t want to do it. What I really see happening is that I will write Josh off. I know I swore he was the one for me. He still perfectly well could be. I don’t know what will happen. I hate this waiting game. Its a bitch. But come what may.

I haven’t cried over Josh since I’ve been with Ron. It’s been nice. I honestly could see myself with this boy. “I’ve wanted to ask you out for over a year now.” He said that. Last night. He didn’t because of Josh. My life would be so different if he had just asked. But he didn’t and my life has gone the way its supposed to run.

This boy told me many other things that I won’t write here. Lets just say that he melted my heart. And confused my brain even more.

So here is to the boys in my life that are here just to confuse me, hurt me, and make me feel like a princess. And here’s to the friends who listen to me rant on about them.

“Come what may, I will love you, until my dying day.”

Life’s a Dance You Learn as You Go

This weekend was glorious. I spent it was amazing people and I got to skype with my bestie. I got tan and didn’t burn. My legs are even getting some sunshine. And he is a great kisser. I might get addicted.

As we watched the sun set last night, we talked of bittersweet summertime. He wants to come to visit me in Colorado. I might be able to make it down to visit him. Even if Kristen threatens to beat me up cuz I am dating someone and not Josh, I am happy with this. My mom is really happy about this and I guess Ron’s mom is too. 

I really don’t want to go home to Colorado. I mean I really miss it in some ways. I am so excited to see my Baub and get ocean waters. I can’t wait to get out of this apartment for reasons known to a few. But I will have to say goodbye. Not excited about this. 

But until then, I will be living it up when the homework isn’t dragging me down to hell.  I have to make the most of the moment given to me. I don’t want to waste a second of the little time we have left.

Pieces of Me

“It seems like I can finally rest my head on something real…”

So what happened here? Its not so strange to see, two lonely little hearts that long for company. I spent all weekend with you. Best weekend I have had in a long time. It was almost perfect. The weather was beautiful and the sun smiled down. The clouds did cover the night sky so we never were not able to go star gazing, but it is on our bucket list. The only thing that could have gone better is that the seagulls invading old main would fly away and be gone, and if my butt weren’t so sore. Someday I will have great hiking muscles but until that day hiking will make me sore.

Yes, we did go hiking together. And bowling, and to the zoo, and out to eat, along with several things we did at home. It was glorious!

And last night, he finally did it. He finally held my hand. I laughed cuz I knew Marshall had been urging him to do it for like the last week. I guess he would have made a move sooner if Marshall wasn’t so pushy. But yeah. We were watching the Moulin Rouge. Greatest movie ever. I took a picture of our holding hands and sent it to Amanda and Marshall. It was great.

Then we went to first dam to feed some old hot dog buns to the ducks. One ate the crumbs right out of my hand. It was late and the wind was cold. Have I ever mentioned how grateful I am to guys who help keep me warm? Well, they are glorious. We cuddled there at the waters edge. The stars were for the most part shining and the moon was really bright. It was kinda romantic. As cold as I was, I really didn’t want it to end. 

So yeah. This is what has happened the last few days for all those who wanted to know and have been asking.